What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Why did my bipolar girlfriend split up with me?

What! how could you do that?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What's your wildest & weirdest fantasy?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Can you write a letter to your first love without mentioning his/her name?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”